I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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