I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize