i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize