Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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