i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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