I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize