I can tuck mytits in my pants
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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