I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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