i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
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I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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