i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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