He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize