He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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