covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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