he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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