New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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