You work out of a Hotel?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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