C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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