I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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