I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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