cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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