Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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