I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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