everyone is single if you try hard enough
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize