You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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