I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
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