I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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