just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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