My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize