i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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