I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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