Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
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I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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