I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize