So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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