I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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