Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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