Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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