At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
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Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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