We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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