I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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