you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
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I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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