If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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