I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
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