Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
There's always time for handjobs
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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