your thong is hanging out like whoa
That's intense
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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