there was a trapeze. enough said
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize