i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I could fuck to npr.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize