Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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