Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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