i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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