The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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